The Myth of Which Twin Flame Awakens First

One of the biggest myths that twin flames come up against (and there are a lot of them) is the idea that the runner is completely oblivious to the whole journey and doesn’t experience any of what the chaser is going through.

The narrative is that the chaser awakens first and has to deal with everything themselves, but sometimes this “wisdom” gets passed around our community like gospel, and it just doesn’t seem to match up to what we really see going on.

Chasers are not automatically more spiritually awakened than the runners. It’s an oversimplification and a generalisation that we should maybe do away with. It has left so many of us feeling inadequate or confused about our roles in this journey.

Today, I want to share some real stories from our twin flame family. People just like you and me who are navigating this path with their hearts wide open. Their experiences might even completely transform how you understand your own twin flame dynamic.

“We recognized each other at the same time”

“When I met my TF, we kind of recognized each other at the same time. We progressed alongside each other and were mirroring each other a lot.”

TheNightWriter199’s experience resonates with so many of us who felt that simultaneous recognition. This beautiful mirroring challenges the idea that one twin must be significantly “ahead” spiritually. Sometimes, we grow together, step by step, matching each other’s pace.

“I think at the end of the day though, I was a little ahead of her given my circumstances and how much I was willing to sacrifice to change. I was willing to give up everything I knew to be reborn and grow, whereas she wanted to but clung to who she was and her connections here and ultimately ran from me.”

This insight strikes right at the heart of what many of us miss. What looks like a “spiritual awakening” might actually be simply a willingness to surrender and transform. I’ve seen this pattern in so many twin relationships.

It’s not about who knows more spiritual concepts but who’s really ready to let go of what no longer serves them.

The runner often gets a raw deal and a lot of the “blame” for separation but the reality is their higher self is just as aware of the journey as you are. It just manifests differently in the 3D sometimes. We need to look beyond the obvious and see the bigger picture of your journey.

“The spiritual one isn’t who you’d expect”

“Everyone assumed I was the ‘spiritual twin’ because I meditated and did yoga, while my twin was focused on his career. But when we finally connected, I realized he had been doing profound inner work through therapy and journaling. His emotional intelligence and self-awareness far surpassed mine in many ways. Labels are meaningless when it comes to soul work.“

Spirituality takes many forms. Some twins do their deepest work through traditional spiritual practices, while others develop profound awareness through seemingly “mundane” paths like therapy, creativity, or career challenges.

Neither approach is superior. They’re simply different routes to the same destination of self-awareness.

“I am less spiritually inclined”

“I’m not sure if the chaser is more spiritually awakened. I am less spiritually inclined than my counterpart, but almost 100% active on intuition and feelings.”

This experience from Drakkulstellios goes against what we often hear, and I love it. The twin flame journey isn’t always straightforward. Sometimes, the runner is the more spiritually ready one. Maybe that’s why they’re running.

“Running was my spiritual awakening”

“I ran from my twin because the connection was so overwhelming. But running became my greatest spiritual teacher. In the separation, I was forced to face every shadow I’d been avoiding. My twin didn’t chase me. She let me go, which was exactly what I needed. Sometimes running IS the spiritual awakening, not a sign of its absence.”

I hate (and I don’t use that term lightly) this narrative that the runner is doing something ‘wrong’ or trying to cause harm.

As much as we don’t want to hear it, it can be the ego of the chaser to make these assumptions.

For many twins, the act of running becomes the catalyst for profound spiritual growth. The pain of separation forces them to look within and heal wounds they might otherwise have continued to ignore. Rather than seeing running as spiritual immaturity, we can recognize it as a necessary part of many twins’ awakening process.

“We both had a similar amount of inner work that needed to be done”

One community member, who identifies as a runner, shared something that challenges everything we’re usually told:

“My DM is the chaser and I am the runner. Many articles make it seem like the chaser is already fully awake and just need to wait for the runner to awaken.”

How many of us have felt the weight of this myth? Whether we’re runners feeling inadequate or chasers feeling like we have to be the “spiritual one,” this narrative harms both twins.

“When I think about my short encounter with my twin before I ran, I think we both had a great amount, and similar amount, of inner work that needed to be done.”

Yes! This is the balanced truth so many of us discover on our journey. Neither twin is “better” or “more evolved”. We’re simply working on different aspects of ourselves at different times.

“One thing though, is that I think my twin was already a little more open to and aware of his unconscious mind and thoughts, while I ignored mine. Which might be why he seemed to ‘recognize’ me first, while I instantly felt fear and intimidation.”

“We keep switching places”

“For the first year, I was clearly the more spiritually aware one. I recognized our connection while she was completely oblivious. Then suddenly, she had this massive awakening that catapulted her far beyond where I was. Now, three years later, we seem to leapfrog each other in awareness. We just keep switching places. When one gets stuck, the other finds the way forward. There’s no permanent ‘leader’.”

This beautifully illustrates the dynamic, ever-changing nature of twin flame journeys.

Spiritual awakening isn’t linear, and twins often trade roles as teacher and student throughout their connection. This constant evolution balances the relationship and prevents either twin from becoming permanently dependent on the other for guidance.

What These Experiences Teach Us About Our Own Journeys

These stories remind us that spiritual awakening in twin flame connections is far more complex than labels like “chaser” and “runner” suggest. I’ve watched countless twins exchange these roles multiple times throughout their journey.

Instead of asking “who is more awakened,” I’ve found it much more helpful to ask: “How are we each awakening in the exact ways our souls need right now?”

Your journey is uniquely yours.