We’re going to wade very carefully into the idea of twin flames and narcissists here. Can your twin flame be a narcissist? How do you spot the difference between a twin in need of healing and a narcissist?

Important Distinctions

The terms narcissist or toxic are often used (or misused) as a catch-all for shitty behavior. Any of us (including twin flames) have the capacity to be in a bad mood, do the wrong thing or act like an asshole.

So keep this in mind:

  • A true twin flame can act like a narcissist at times. As can you or me. You can have a bad day or be in a low vibrational state. This does not mean you are an actual narcissist.
  • If they are a karmic (and not your real twin flame), they can be a narcissist and may display these traits as part of your learning and healing process. Best to get away from this.
  • If they are a genuine narcissist, then they are not your twin flame. Twin flames have the capacity to heal and grow. A true narcissist will absolutely love for you to think they are your twin flame, but this is not a connection you need in your life.

Why It’s Hard to Tell the Difference

A Narcissist will thrive if they have you thinking that they’re the real thing and have you chase after them.

It’s the illusion of endless potential and the excitement of it. We don’t realize it as it happens, but it’s trauma bonding with high highs and low lows.

More often than not, it’s the most exciting and seemingly promising connection we’ve experienced. False advertising, of course, but we often realize that when we’re already hooked.

It can be incredibly hard to spot the difference, and sometimes it’s only in hindsight you see it plainly.

But we’ll hopefully be able to give you some tools to see the truth in your own connections.

Telling the Difference

So how do you tell if this is a twin flame runner just acting out or a narcissist trying to hurt you for their own enjoyment?

Using Tools to Tell the Difference

  • The first is an obvious one you could probably expect. Your intuition. I guarantee if you break it off with a narcissist, you’ll look back later on and tell yourself, “I knew it”. A twin flame’s intuition is highly attuned, but sometimes it’s hard to know what your intuition is telling you.
  • You could get a drawing of your twin flame to see how it compares to the person before you. Look for patterns or traits that fit.
  • If you’re really not sure? Get a twin flame reading and look specifically at this person.
  • Just as numerology can confirm a twin flame and offer advice, certain twin flame number patterns can also be warning you away from a narcissistic false twin flame.

Crucial Indicators

One way to discern between a narcissist and your twin flame in distress could be by examining how they respond to your pain and suffering.

A narcissist is usually indifferent or even pleased with your suffering because it feeds into their sense of self-importance, whereas a twin flame – even in their darkest hours – will still feel your pain on some level.

They might not act on it appropriately or immediately, but it won’t give them pleasure. It’s crucial to observe their reaction to your distress or vulnerability.

Another aspect to consider is their willingness to self-reflect.

True narcissists avoid genuine self-reflection like the plague. They shun responsibility for their actions and instead blame others or the circumstances. On the other hand, twin flames, even in their moments of selfishness or distress, will eventually realize their actions’ impact, show remorse, and aim to make amends.

The Role of Empathy

Empathy plays a significant role in this differentiation as well.

Narcissists lack empathy – their world revolves around their own needs and desires, and they seldom care about how their actions affect others.

Twin flames, however, despite their struggles, will usually maintain a deep empathetic connection with you. You may feel they are selfish or insensitive at times, but you won’t consistently experience a complete disregard for your feelings, as would be the case with a narcissist.

Signs to Look For

Remember! Signs on the twin flame path are often tricky at the best of times. The path is incredibly unique, and the signs you see will also be.

We can all have bad days and healing we need to do. It’s likely

  1. Control: A narcissist will want to control every aspect of the relationship, often disregarding your boundaries and privacy.
  2. You’re Constantly On-edge: There’s always that off thing that makes feel alert or on edge. Like, you know, on some level, there’s something not adding up, but you’re in denial about it for a long time because they mirror to you as much as they can from what you’d like to get.
  3. Sometimes The Mask Falls: They keep it up for a while, but they can’t do it indefinitely since it’s so far off their true nature. So they slip more and more, and then… ta-da! You’ll see a side of them your subconscious is used to but you’ve been ignoring.
  4. You Lie for Them: If you find yourself excusing their behavior (either to yourself or to others), this isn’t a great sign.
  5. Jealousy: Narcissists are often jealous of your friends and family members and may even accuse you of cheating.
  6. Self-Obsession: Narcissists are extremely self-centered and show little interest in your needs or experiences.
  7. Distance: A narcissist may keep a distance from you, focusing more on their own interests and needs.
  8. Inequality: In a narcissistic relationship, your unconditional love may not be reciprocated, leading to a one-sided relationship.
  9. Different Personalities: Narcissists often act differently around different people, indicating their manipulative nature.
  10. Non-Commitment: A narcissist will have a hard time committing to you, often making excuses for their inability to do so.
  11. Excusing Bad Behavior: You may find yourself constantly excusing their bad behavior, which is a sign of a narcissistic relationship.
  12. Seeing Other People (Cheating): Narcissists may be seeing other people while claiming to be your twin flame. They thrive on attention from others and will get it from as many places as they can.
  13. Inconsistent Actions: They may say one thing and do another, indicating their dishonest nature.
  14. Misleading Impressions: Your friends and family might have a wrong perception of your partner, indicating their ability to portray different personalities.
  15. Lack of Deep Connection: If they resist going deeper emotionally, it could be a sign they’re not being fully honest with you.
  16. Energy Drain: A narcissist will consume all of your energy with their constant need for adoration and narcissistic supply. If you’re starting to feel isolated and like the relationship is the only thing in your life, this could be a sign your partner is a false twin flame.
  17. Changing Yourself: If you feel like you have to change yourself to meet their expectations or to keep the relationship going, this could be a sign of a narcissistic relationship. A true twin flame would love you exactly as you are.
  18. Lack of Boundaries: Narcissists often disregard boundaries in a relationship, which can lead to an unhealthy level of dependency and control.
  19. Repeating Old Patterns: A false twin flame will reveal old wounds, patterns, and habits that are holding you back. If you feel like you’ve played out the same scenario with other partners before, this could be a sign.

Can The Twin Flame Path Cure Narcissism?

The twin flame journey is a deeply transformative process that can indeed facilitate personal growth and healing.

However, it’s important to clarify that while it can help someone shed narcissistic traits, it cannot cure true narcissism. Narcissism, as a personality disorder, is deeply ingrained and typically requires professional intervention for meaningful change.

The twin flame journey is about personal and spiritual growth. It’s about recognizing and healing our own wounds, patterns, and habits.

When two people are on this journey together, they mirror each other’s traumas and triggers, which can lead to profound self-awareness and healing. If someone has narcissistic traits but is not a true narcissist, this process can help them recognize and work on these traits. They can learn to be more empathetic, considerate, and less self-centered.

However, a true narcissist, someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), has a deeply ingrained pattern of behavior that is resistant to change. They lack empathy and have a grandiose sense of self-importance.

They are often manipulative and controlling, using others to meet their own needs without considering the impact on those around them. The twin flame journey, while transformative, is not a substitute for professional therapy and cannot cure NPD.

It’s also important to note that while the twin flame journey can facilitate personal growth, it’s not a guarantee of change. Both individuals must be willing to do the hard work of self-reflection and healing. If one person is unwilling or unable to do this work, the journey can become a cycle of pain and frustration.

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