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(And why you might want to cut them some slack).

Most conversations around twin flames surround the separation stage. This is understandable since it’s where a lot of people get stuck, and many twin flames tend to drift away from the community as they reach union (we need to talk about that at some point).

The problem is that this stage becomes emotionally turbulent.

So chasers (understandably) get frustrated, angry and lash out. Sometimes that means lashing out at the runner without really understanding how they feel or why they’re acting this way.

If you want some more insight into how they’re feeling and what they want you to know, you might want to try our channel your twin flame tool.

Why Are They Running?

And why it’s probably not what you think.

Now, I get it. It’s easy to villainize the runner.

I mean, here they’ve found the most amazing connection, and what do they do? They run. It seems a bit counterintuitive, right? It’s like finding a pot of gold and then deciding, no, I don’t fancy being rich after all.

Chasers tend to get frustrated. Why can’t they see what is so obvious?!

We need to remember this is not a ‘normal’ relationship. The twin flame journey is about healing before you are ready for union. This means both of you.

When you’re face-to-face with your twin flame, you’re faced with your own self, warts and all.

In union, this means a connection like no other. Something you can’t possibly imagine until you experience it yourself.

When you’re not ready for that, it can be like standing naked in the mirror under the harshest light. Now, that’s a humbling, downright scary experience for some folks. Not everyone’s ready to confront every nook and cranny of their soul.

Imagine suddenly seeing all your fears, your insecurities, and your failings reflected back at you. How would you respond? With open arms? Or would you, perhaps, feel the urge to bolt?

As humans (this goes for you, me and your runner), we’re very good at framing things to fit our reality. It’s what we do as a species. Our brains are wired to be comfortable, so we’re good at ignoring our faults when they’re not that big of a deal.

And that’s the thing.

That’s where the logic and the emotion, the faith and the fear, all come head-to-head in this crazy spiritual showdown. It’s a journey of personal growth, of spiritual development, and it isn’t always pretty, but boy, is it necessary.

Now, to make matters worse.

If you’re here, you’re probably the chaser. Most of our readers are the more spiritually aware half of the soul.

At least you can rely on the twin flame community. You can figure out what your journey takes (more on that in a moment), and you know why this is all happening.

The runner doesn’t have that luxury. They’re left in the dark, by themselves, to deal with energies they don’t understand and seem to becoming out of nowhere. This is what you might have heard described as soul shock.

How Do You Help The Runner?

telling your twin flame

First of all, we need to cut the runner some slack. They’re not trying to hurt you or drag out separation. They’re simply navigating their own spiritual journey as best they can. Stumbling along a path without even knowing it.

So what now? What can you do to help them figure all of this out?

We did just talk about telling your twin flame how you feel. Depending on where the two of you are, this might help. Or it might make things worse for them if they are spiritually closed off.

So the answer isn’t always with them. It’s certainly not about waiting for them to ‘get it’.

While the energy between you might be scaring the runner away for the moment, it can also be our best tool to bring them back. Your energies are a perfect mirror of each other. This does not mean they’re going to act as you’d expect on the 3D.

But it does mean that taking control of your journey and furthering your own development will trigger them to do the same. Even if they are completely oblivious to it.

Not sure how to do that? Twin Flame Collective Pro can help speed things along. Follow the Union Blueprint, tools and get involved with the community to help further your path.

This whole journey is about looking inward, peeling back the layers of our own psyche, and confronting those not-so-pretty parts of ourselves. But here’s the kicker: it’s also about love, acceptance, and spiritual growth.

So, while it may seem like your runner twin flame is off galavanting on some lonely soul-searching quest, what they’re actually doing is growing.

Although they probably haven’t even thought about it.

I mean, isn’t that what we all are doing? Seeking, searching, trying to figure out this messy, beautiful thing called life? So, in essence, you’re both on this path of self-discovery and growth together. It just may not look like it on the surface.

You’re probably thinking, “That’s great and all, but how does this help me right now?

This is exactly why we wrote about how to speed up the twin flame journey because most advice is generic ‘just do it’ like this:

twin flame advice

I’d like you to remember the words you’ve probably heard quoted a lot. Used at every Church wedding and Instagram post in the last decade.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Yes. It’s a complete cliché.

I also think it applies to the journey. However you decide to further your journey we need to learn to be patient with the runner.

I know it sucks to wait. And there are things we can do to speed things up. But we also have to remember that they are struggling too.

They’re not villains. They’re just souls on a journey, much like us. So, instead of focusing on what they’re not doing, let’s focus on what we can do.

Because at the end of the day, this journey isn’t just about finding our twin flame. It’s about finding ourselves.

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