Forcing Yourself to Ignore Your Twin Flame Can Backfire

If you’re reading this, chances are you know that hollow ache in your chest that comes with twin flame separation. I get it. We all do. That constant checking of your phone, the persistent feeling they’re “about to return,” and the overwhelming desire to just stop missing them.

You’re not alone in this. Not even close.

But I thought we’d look at something that I don’t see talked about often.

The Twin Flame Forum is full of stories about people trying to move on from their twin. Trying to forget that the journey exists. But what if that isn’t the best way to go about it?

What if trying to forget them is just slowing you down and stretching out separation?

“Caught Between Healing and Holding On”

“I’ve really struggled to let go, even though I desperately want to. And every time I think I’m doing better, my mind wanders back and I’m reminded all over again. I am actively trying to form new relationships and heal, but it makes me feel like I’m not being fair to others if my heart is really somewhere else. There just doesn’t seem to be any good options.” – Cold_Kaleidoscope_60

This… might hit home for a lot of us. We shared stories recently about twin flames trying to fall in love with someone else and move on, and these are some difficult waters to navigate. Are you hurting the other person? Your twin? Yourself? Your chance of union?

Many of us have tried dating other people, thinking it would help us move on. But that often leads to its own kind of guilt. If you’ve felt like you’re being unfair to potential partners because your heart is still with your twin, know that your integrity in acknowledging this truth speaks volumes about your character.

“Fighting the Connection Only Made It Stronger”

“The more I tried to ‘get over’ my twin flame, the more intense our connection became. It wasn’t until I stopped fighting and simply acknowledged our bond that things started to shift. Ironically, accepting the connection fully was what allowed me to find peace, not trying to sever it.“

This is such a common pattern.

When we try to cut the connection, it’s like spirit amplifies it to get our attention. The energy we put into resistance could instead be channeled into acceptance and growth. This is a trend we definitely saw when some twin flames shared what it took to end separation.

“The More I Try to Forget, the More Present They Become”

“I don’t understand how it’s possible… every time I attempt to stop missing him it seems like it will get worse. And synchronicities will ramp up.” – Ok_Maybe_2020

The harder you try to push away thoughts of your twin, the more intensely they can appear in your consciousness.

It can feel like spirit has a sense of humour.

Just when you decide “that’s it, I’m moving on,” suddenly you see their name everywhere, their birthday appears on receipts, and songs that remind you of them play on repeat.

This pattern suggests that resistance itself might be part of what’s keeping you stuck. Sometimes, accepting the connection allows it to transform naturally.

“What You Resist Will Persist”

“Every time I tried to force myself to stop thinking about them, it backfired spectacularly. Dreams intensified, synchronicities multiplied. I finally realized that what you resist persists. When I stopped fighting the connection and instead asked what it was teaching me, that’s when my healing accelerated.”

The energy we put into resistance creates a push-pull dynamic that often extends separation. A great example of this is when a twin flame tried a cord-cutting ritual, which made things worse.

Many of us have experienced how fighting against the thoughts of our twin only seems to make them more persistent. There’s a certain surrender required that paradoxically brings more peace than struggle.

“Accepting We Don’t Have Control”

“No, I don’t believe in free will / agency anymore. Haha. I don’t believe we have control over our thoughts/feelings towards our twins. They just are what they are.” – twinflameheart

As a reminder, there are many different beliefs and ideas about the twin flame journey. I understand where they’re coming from and I certainly don’t believe I can choose to simply ignore and remove myself from the journey.

But I do think we have free will and agency outside of that. I do think the journey is very much on us to further.

There’s a certain peace in acknowledging that this connection might transcend conventional relationships. Perhaps instead of fighting against our feelings, we can simply observe them without judgment.

“My Twin Was My Greatest Teacher”

“I realized I was trying to forget the person who came to teach me my most important life lessons. Once I shifted from ‘why won’t they come back?’ to ‘what am I meant to learn from this?’ everything changed. I stopped trying to escape the journey and started embracing it as the catalyst for my transformation.”

This perspective shift is game-changing.

When we reframe our twin as a teacher rather than someone we need to get over, we open ourselves to the growth opportunities inherent in separation. The very person we’re trying to forget may be our most profound catalyst for spiritual evolution.

“The Exhaustion of Always Waiting”

“I’m so tired. And sad. Feeling an insane amount of ‘they’re about to come back,’ lately. Sick of thinking they’re about to send that message. Tired of checking my socials and not seeing their follow/friend request. Is it possible? To stop all these overwhelming feelings? Or are we screwed?” – GrandSituation873

Can we just take a moment to acknowledge how draining this constant state of anticipation is? The checking of messages, the perpetual feeling that reunion is just around the corner.

This mental and emotional hypervigilance takes a massive toll on our wellbeing. It’s exhausting to live in a state of constant expectation, and it’s okay to admit that it’s wearing you down.

This is the other end of the spectrum. Where you’re focusing too much on them in the wrong way.

What Actually Helps?

Forcing yourself to “stop missing” your twin almost always backfires. Our minds simply don’t work that way.

There is often a lot of “do the work” advice out there, but what does that actually mean?

For starters:

• Acknowledging your feelings without judging yourself for having them.
• Redirect your energy toward personal growth rather than resistance.
• Understanding that this connection might exist beyond conventional control.
• Be infinitely compassionate with yourself through the process.

Most importantly, remember that even in your most isolated moments, you’re part of a community that truly understands. The path is different for each of us, but we’re walking it together.