7 Common Twin Flame Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them) ❤️❤️‍🩹

Writing with the Twin Flame Collective can be a lot of work. But it puts us in a uniquely privileged position to see a lot of stories.

We hear from people at every stage of their journey.

Some are just starting to seek their mirror soul, and they know something is out there. Some have met here in the 3D and are going through difficult separation stages. Some have learned every lesson and come out the other side.

It also lets us see patterns in what works and what doesn’t and pass that on to you. As always, you should take what resonates and leave behind what doesn’t.

Every single journey is unique, but these are the common mistakes we see people make early on.

Mistake 1: Thinking You’re the Only One Struggling in Your Connection

“For the longest time, I felt like I was carrying both of us through this connection. I’d be journaling, doing inner child work, reading every article I could find, while they seemed totally checked out. Like they didn’t even care. But eventually, I had to accept they were struggling too. They just didn’t have the words for it like I did.”

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking you’re the only one evolving (which is why we have the myth about who awakens first). But many twins are doing their work silently or unconsciously, and that doesn’t mean they’re disconnected from the journey.

So many of us focus on how your mirror soul just “doesn’t get it” and you’re the one having to do all the work.

Avoiding this mistake:

Understanding that they’re not trying to hurt you.

It’s incredibly frustrating when you can see the level of connection clear as day, and they’re not responding in a way that makes sense.

I wish I could make this part easier.

The truth is we need to learn to accept that the runner is struggling. It often manifests very differently than the chaser’s struggle, but they’re not coping any better.

In some ways, they might have it worse. A runner is faced with the same turbulent emotions and energies, but they have nothing to equate it to. This is why they often misdirect their feelings.

Mistake 2: Chasing on the Physical Level

I don’t mean physically chasing them down the street (although that qualifies). I mean focusing too much on the time you spend together, the messages you send, or stalking their social media.

“I used to wake up and check his stories first thing, then again at lunch, then again before bed. It got to the point where I’d feel anxious if he didn’t post. Eventually, I realized I wasn’t looking for connection. I was looking for reassurance, and it was never enough.”

We’ve all been there. But that kind of chasing doesn’t bring us closer to union. It just keeps us trapped in anxiety loops and stops us from focusing inward.

Avoiding this mistake:

Understanding that this only brings pressure.

Trust me. Nobody at Twin Flame Collective will judge you for looking at their social media. We’ve all been there.

But as much as it might give us a few minutes of relief not to see them post a photo with a karmic, it can absolutely hold you back from reaching union in the long run.

Mistake 3: Perpetual Waiting

This one can take several different forms.

We might think that we’re ‘doing the work’ in a broad sense without actually doing anything about it.

We might just be stagnating. Sitting back and waiting for your twin flame to ‘figure it out’ for the universe to deliver.

Avoiding this mistake:

Get out there and kick some butt.

Twin flames are so incredibly powerful. One way or another, we all learn that eventually. But sitting in this ‘perpetual waiting’ phase means we often squander this limitless ability for far too long.

I’m not saying you forget about your twin flame journey.

I’m never saying you forget about your twin flame.

I’m saying you fight stagnation tooth and nail. You never sit in a toxic situation and accept that’s how things are.

Engage in your personal life mission. The universe wants you to succeed. Sometimes, you need to start putting one foot in front of the other and watch obstacles get out of your way.

If you haven’t seen it yet, I heavily suggest reading our guide on how to speed up reunion.

Mistake 4: Getting Caught Up (OR IGNORING) External Signs

We’ll often hear from both extremes on this one.

Twin flames are far more attuned than most at working with external signs from the universe, whether that’s energy forecasts, syncs, numerology, spirit guides or tarot readings.

We’ve seen people rely far too heavily on these signs to the point that they only look for them and ignore the rest of the twin flame journey.

We’ve also seen people go completely in the other direction and focus on the journey too much.

“I kept pulling cards that said union was close, seeing 1111 every day, and hearing songs that reminded me of him. So I waited. And waited. It took me months to realize I’d confused spiritual confirmation with a permission slip to stay stuck.”

Signs are real. But they only point the way. We still have to take steps forward, or we’ll stay in limbo while the universe holds the door open.

Avoiding this mistake:

Learn to use these tools in moderation, but also appreciate how important they can be.

It’s definitely a fine line to walk here. But these external signs arrive for a reason. They can help us confirm a twin flame connection, guide us toward union and warn us away from dangerous. As a collective, we should be open to messages from the universe.

It wants you to succeed.

These messages can tell us how we should be moving the journey forward. They can direct us on a path that rarely has a map.

We just can’t allow it to become the journey.

The Tarot can tell us that there are opportunities for change this week. But that doesn’t mean we can sit on the couch and watch Netflix, or those opportunities will pass us by.

Take these messages as guides to empower you. Not an excuse to stay in stagnation. Take their guidance and act on it.

Mistake 5: Getting Stuck in Doubt

“One week I was sure he was the one, the next I thought I’d made everything up. I was crying in my car thinking I’d lost my mind. But if this bond was easy to understand, it wouldn’t be called a journey.”

Doubt doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It means you’re being asked to ground your truth in your own growth, not just in the idea of someone else.

We often hear twin flames say trust in the process.

The twin flame journey goes against logic. It goes against how we understand a bond should feel.

I’d be more worried if you didn’t question your feelings. Doubt is healthy. It will keep you on the right track.

It doesn’t mean a false twin flame. It doesn’t mean your true twin flame, either. It means you have a logical head on your shoulders, and you’re human. This is a good thing.

Most twin flames go through doubt. I’d probably bet that we all have.

Doubt can absolutely cause you to feel like you’re spiraling and going mad. I understand entirely bouncing between clear-cut certainty and brain-fogging doubt.

Sometimes, you might see some external signs giving you a moment’s peace of mind, but, for the most part, the universe will leave this up to you to figure out.

And that’s okay. It doesn’t give you anything that you can’t handle.

The only thing we really need to worry about is becoming completely transfixed by doubt to the point where we do nothing.

Like a deer in the headlights.

You don’t need to fling yourself into complete 100% certainty. The path towards progression and union is the path of self-discovery and improvement anyway, so you’ve really no wrong answers here except inaction.

You might have heard people say trust in the process.

This doesn’t actually mean you have to 100% accept that you’ve met your twin flame. Maybe you haven’t. Maybe it’s a karmic in your life right now. Or maybe it is them, and you’ve still work to do.

The process to union is the same either way.

Work on yourself, make use of the incredible ability a twin flame has to manifest real change and trust the process.

Mistake 6: Focusing Externally

This is the one you might be sick of me talking about. (If not, you really should subscribe to the twin flame collective newsletter)

But there’s a reason I keep saying it.

Maybe I’ll catch you with the right words at the right time.

Because it’s so important.

Focus on yourself, not just your twin flame.

The twin flame journey can become all-encompassing. This is completely fine as long as you’re using that to drive yourself forward.

Allow your institution to be calling the shots. Focus on your physical well-being, your emotional well-being, your spiritual progression or even your career.

Focusing on making the most killer ice cream or learning how to install IKEA furniture without having a dozen screws left over.

Whatever you’re called to do. Just focus on pushing yourself forward. Don’t lose yourself so much in the emotions of the journey that you forget how unbelievably special you are.

Mistake 7: Only the Physical Side

Don’t get me wrong. The physical part of the twin flame journey is something else.

But it’s only one side of the journey. Sometimes we see people focus entirely on that side and treat the twin flame journey like a Hollywood rom-com movie.

The twin flame journey is a spiritual one.

It’s a journey of personal growth, self-discovery, and a deepening connection to your own soul. The physical aspects, while important and undeniably intense, are just a fraction of the whole experience.

Remember, the true purpose of the twin flame journey is to help you and your twin flame evolve and grow individually and together.

This means that focusing solely on the physical aspects, like romantic chemistry or physical intimacy, can distract you from the more profound lessons and experiences intended to help you develop spiritually and emotionally.

Embrace the full spectrum of the journey, and pay attention to the emotional, mental, and spiritual connections you share with your twin flame. These aspects are essential for personal growth, self-awareness, and union with your twin flame.

Balance your focus on the physical side of the connection with the emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of your twin flame journey. Acknowledge that it’s a multifaceted experience that goes beyond the mere physical attraction, and allow yourself to learn and grow from each aspect of the journey.